The Digital Gangster LP

1. We Have Arrived (featuring K.Flay and the Former Fat Boys)

This song is for everyone who's been stepped over, looked past, ostracized, diminished, forgotten. This song is not for self-promotion, but a wake up call to all you fake-ass DJ's rocking dusty beats. Attention: we have arrived.

MC Lars: Bob Dylan, the sixties are still going. What? Alright. Technolo-G's. That's gangsters with computers.

Guess who's back with a postmodern rap

I pack so much flavor that I make your tongue snap

When I'm rappin' on the beat it's crazy and it's ill

And when I rock the mic yo I'm Built to Spill

I'm Socratic - but it's Greek to you

Like Plato's Cave Allegory well I'll leave your view askew

I get metaphysical like Aristotle

And when I storm the stage, I do it full throttle

I'm a laptop hustler dealing shareware cracks

And if you mess with YT your Mac will get hacked

My rhymes are so def that they need a hearing aid

Ask Andy Warhol - pop art gets you paid

I'm like Thomas Aqunias, just call me your heinous

And yo if you step my crew then you're messing with the finest

Like Dante or Chaucer, I've got the sickest flows

1,2,1,2 and away we go,

K. Flay

YTCracker:

emanating from the speakerbox

other mcs they be kicking rocks i got bigger chops

im been doing this 10 years finally on the map

got a mac in my backpack and i still hack

but i keep it on the low cuz i dont want to go to jail

epic fail on a triple beam scale

cuz my lyrics like drugs and i write so well

im still the dg to watch in 2k9

and im blowing they mind drip drop my hip hop

like water torture ask mccain

im that geek mc with the brains the braun

sliced up like a taun taun just ask luke

no fluke words hot like alphabet soup

wheres my troops hit the loop and do it again

yt go fluid again go through it and win

Former Fat Boys:

2. Birth of a Phish

MC Lars: Yo YTCracker, I got hot this beat from Doc Pop. He sent it to me via YouSendIt, you know what I'm saying? Convenient and fresh. Why don't you rip something?

YTCracker:

wifi warrior from the waldorf astoria

raiding up the mini bar and pouring a

mixed drink so i get down and think

and write a little rhyme for my people and (blink)

like a mage straight up from the brain to the page

filling up my crit gauge blocking haters from the cage

secure server beating them off like a pervert

a wordburglar (not from canada)

i aint mad at ya just a little peeved

and ill make like a tree and leave

best believe im in the scene and i will seige

just like a tank in out then flee

speaking of starcraft im like raynor

but ive never been a vulture just a savior

locke like lost teched up like protoss

and im carrying the game they call me (the boss)

supervisor aint none wiser

make it rain all the time i aint a miser

aint no scrooge im a generous dude

but i wont hesitate to eat you like food

dont be rude ill eat you like grues

like frontalot sought the treasure and spewed

fire out his mandibles nerd rap cannibals

(lars and i we hungry like hannibal)

all got the smarts to make it go dark

eclipse everyone with our bite and our bark

planets align when we spitting our rhymes

and its evident we did it more that just a few times

graduate nerd life (grammy candidates)

anybody step to us and (we aint having it)

gigantic robots dg ep

no one hit wonders (lars and yt)

doc pop on the beat

Lars: DJ Abilities called. He wants his MC back.

3. "Original Digital Gangsters" (featuring int80 of Dual Core)

4. Carmen Sandiego Has Really Bad Morals

MC Lars:

With so much drama at my detective agency

It's kind of hard to be an A.C.M.E. agent like me

Because Carmen Sandiego, well she keeps evading me

She's freaking hard to find! Rockapella agrees

She's elusive, not conducive to a crime-free planet

Robbed the banks of the Nile, and I can't understand

She stole the Mason-Dixie line, so I'm searching for clues

How much damage can an educational computer game villain do?

She stole the Grand Canyon and the Sydney Opera House

The Golden Gate Bridge, tell me what's that all about?

Now she's even going back in time, she's messing with my mind

She stole the Magna Carta and the Maginot Line

She's single-handedly and in charge like Scott Baio

I'm chasing her around like a bull in rodeo

She needs should be locked up just like Galileo

This girl stole my breakfast, please lego my ego,

YTCracker:

She's a - kleptomaniac, but she must refrain from that

crime record shows every heinous deed's insanely whack

She's up to no good with her zany hijinx

She took a trip to Egypt, stole the pyramid and Sphynx

She stole Stone Henge and she stole the Eiffel Tower

How do you freaking steal the freaking Eiffel Tower?

I'm learning a lot with every single spot

I think she might be at but it turns out that she's not

The chief is on the phone, dude leave me alone

Carmen's surreptitious, as the evidence has shown

She might even steal your heart, so I must warn ya

She's so damn hot when she rocks her Red Fedora

I've chased her to Berlin, Trinidad and Tobago

Where the ---- is Carmen Sandiego?

Lars & YT:

Carmen Sandiego has really bad morals

Carmen Sandiego has really bad morals

Carmen Sandiego has really bad morals

Carmen Sandiego got really bad morals

Lars: I never knew gaming could be so educational… is it recreational? (Is it recreational).

5. Do the Bruce Campbell

Lars: Wait… what's that noise? YTCracker, are those zombies?

YT: Zombies in the studio!

Lars: This is our horrorcore song because it has zombies on it.

YT: It sounds like a horrorcore song.

Lars: You know who we should get on this track to help us out?

YT: I'm thinking Zealous1 and Schaffer the Darklord.

Lars: Heck yeah!

YT: What should we call it Lars?

Lars: I think we should call it Bruce Campbell.

Schaffer:

Fresh from the cemetery, I'm a terrifying sight

With little bits of bloody flesh stuck my mic

I will ruin you, reduce you to a puddle where you stand

Once I tear into your torso with my cold, dead hands

Blood, sweat and tears from your wounds start spewing

Fill a water bottle, swallow all your bodily fluids

You are nailed to a wall, full of holes like a dartboard

Still think you’re hardcore? Bow to your Darklord!

Splatter from the axe turns a blue shirt red

Severed head in a vise inside of my work shed

Deadheads get brains, Pinheads get chains

I annihilate you, then I violate your remains

You choked and you froze 'cause you got so scared

Toss your body in the cellar, hope you rot down there

Where upon your meat and screams, awful goblins feed

Bleedat! But never mind the "at," just bleed!

Chorus:

Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell

Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle

Four MC's we're more than you can handle

D-d-d-d do the Bruce Campbell

Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell

Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle

Four MC's we're more than you can handle

Protect your neck and do the Bruce Campbell

YTCracker:

they need brains not the kind that you get in the back of a car

at the drive in but the kind where theyre hiding in fear

laid up in a creaky house where the people shout

night of the living dead instead full moon rising

their surprising every chick with their shirt torn off

got an axe with the blade worn off

they roam in the shadows split their melon

im telling talking bout the zombies stalking

victims with a stick em up

dead flesh rotten dont pick them up

on the side of the road or get yourself throwed

become one of them and walk all slowed

on a quest for the grey matter nothing phatter

than a mind like mine when the zombies dine

Zealous1:

back from the dead, got a bullet in my head,

and 37 more from the buckshot spread,

suicidal thoughts like frost in your spine,

the dragon wont sleep till your souls all mine

cut the flesh, blood spillin will entice me,

I promise when i carve my name Ill do it very nicely

precisely, show your ladies im the best at this

i got them screamin for the zealous as the sexorcist

dont mess with this, you just cant hide

aint gonna stop till the knifes inside

twist to the left, lemme see your eyes

twist to the right, i wanna taste you die

i stalk MC's who are not believers

make a microphone stand outta both their femurs

i love screamers, uh oh lets go

gimme some sugar baby and do the Bruce Campbell

Lars:

Jeffrey Dahmer, here's my story,

you abhor me, you deplore me,

Much too gory, violent glory,

but this never would have happen if you hadn't ignored me!

You laughed at me and my fat retainer

Now your son Stew is frozen in my refrigerator

If you'd just said hello when I passed in the hall

I wouldn't be snacking on your dead boyfriend Paul

It's just another day at the Ambassador Hotel,

Milwaukee's best travel bargain, please ignore the smell

Shrunken heads severed limbs, I'm mad belligerent

Murderous cannibal, far from innocent

The Dahmer Dinner Part is the best it's true

And everywhere I go, I'll take a part of you

There's a key downstairs, and your name's on it

I'll get the stains out, you bring the comet

5. Oneonta

Lars:

I'm sitting by myself in Oneonta, New York

Typing rhymes on my MacBook, getting to work

I put my headphones on and I hide behind the screen

Because the world is mercurial and the world is mean

Sick of all these boring people so I'm

In the fast lane writing rhyme after rhyme

I hide inside the gigs of the music and the data

shot callin', Myspace, ballin',peace world I'll see you later

YTCracker:

im sitting by myself in the springs, colorado

well, not alone, with my shadow, i battle

thoughts from the cattle so i dig in my saddle

deflect the mess with my atari paddle

control the flow these bits is second nature

paper what i make by pushin data

thank the maker blow out like a circuit breaker

check my facebook man ill see you later

Lars:

I'm sitting by myself in Oneonta, New York

Typing rhymes on my MacBook, getting to work

I put my headphones on and get lost in the web

I never liked reality, I'll stay in mine instead

I'm over all the boring, dejected, bitter people

Who run to their dealers, their troughs, and their steeples

I reign supreme in my rhythmic paradise

I kill that demon with my lyrics and it feels very nice

YTCracker:

hiphop integration the igeneration went tech

i hit the streets from the net

now this net vet get props and respect

cuz i knew what i was doing in the 80s, bet

the computer saved hip hop made hip hop

played hip hop so i return the favor

tell em how computers are their savior

like hip hop gave us this gift the greatest

Lars:

I studied hip-hop cause I had to, I had no choice

I needed an identity I needed a voice

So I found my salvation in the Run-DMC

the KRS, Nas, and Public Enemy

You can take rapper out the British punk show

But you can't take the punk show out the rapper yo

So I'm DIY, till I die, this is why, when I try,

You'll probably see my smiling when you see me flying straight on by

YTCracker:

im sitting by myself in that san francisco

well not alone cuz im bout to spit flows

with my friend lars that i met cuz of music

and if i wasnt rapping then id feel abused kid

since i found music ive never had solitude

it will never beat on me or call me names

it will never cheat on me or play those games

it will always be loyal and never change

kick it with the rondos spitting in the studio

blocking out the world when im feeling kinda moody yo

getting into paradise im the nerdy coolio

cuz i got a gift and i feel it is my duty yo

got the fame now came up from dumb luck

and they all know im the ish like 2girls1cup

they all know that im styling on the interweb

and they all pressing repeat just to hear what i said

Lars: I'm the best main, I did it.

YTCracker: and they all pressing repeat just to hear what i said

Lars: I'm the best main, I did it.

YTCracker: and they all pressing repeat just to hear what i said

Frontalot:

10. Manifest Destiny

Lars:

Welcome to the Wild Wild West

Pecos Lars won’t hesitate to put a slug in your chest

Hard rhymer, 49-er, got my Remington Cocked

I shot a man in Reno just to hear his heart stop (stop)

YTCracker:

manifest destiny was the slogan

in the 1800s when the east was all broken

people sought their riches in a vicious move west

and the competition kept em on their toes with no rest

Lars:
Posting up at my homestead got my gold bars stacked

Go west, manifest destiny is on track

Forging streams, so it seems, in my heavy covered wagon

You can’t stop it, Davy Crocket, all the crazy fun we’re having

YTCracker:

in the mid 90s people started forging the framework

of the modern day internet and pioneered the game work

i was on the front lines lewis and clark

with a slip connection wrecking on the net in the dark

(hook)

manifest destiny a motto of progress

but it isnt always positive the aftermath regardless

eventually theres casualty - but it doesnt matter see

cuz everyone is ultimately out for themselves

manifest destiny a motto of progress

but it isnt always positive the aftermath regardless

eventually theres casualty - but it doesnt matter see

cuz everyone is ultimately out for themselves

Lars:

I get crunk!

Shooting Indians, straight out pillagin’,

One day we’ll put a Wal-Mart here and make those millions

Small pox on the blankets killing buffalo for fun

The white man is more heinous than Attila the Hun!

YTCracker:

was an outlaw sticking up the internet train

i took that superhighway and i made it a game

felt at home on the range im an agent of change

im the internet obama if it needed a name

Lars:

Pochantis, girl you want this, brace yourself like orthodontists

Because High Noon is coming soon like Jesse James you’ll never stop us

Just Andy Milonakis eating everything in sight

We sleep with one eye open on these cold Nevada nights!

YTCracker:

i was spamming mails like it was oregon trails

die of sickness from the dysentery making my sales

holy grails of the internet partner knew em all

smuggling my warez with a howdy yall

14. Paul Is Dead

Intro:

The government is lying!

Don’t believe everything you hear!

In fact, there’s a logical explanation for everything,

Let’s trace it back to the genesis

Conspiracy theories (conspiracy theories)

It’s MC Lars and the Rondo Brothers… tearing it up!!

Verse 1:

I’m dropping knowledge on conspiracy theories,

do you hear me?

It’s evident the government is lying monthly, yearly

Because JFK’s death was the direct result

Of the Chupacabra submerging a ginormous boat

The Titantic, don’t panic, it was sunk by this beast

Then the Loch Ness Monster had a yummy icy feast,

OJ Simpson? Innocent, it was Big Foot on crack

Who had a jealous rage and snapped Ron Goldman’s back

In fact the facts explain everything you might deny

Big Foot crashed in Roswell, let me tell you why

He was chilling with some aliens who couldn’t really fly

So they landed in New Mexico that’s why reports imply

The Manson Family and Timothy McVey

Were evil demon robots built by the CIA

That the mafia enlisted for an insidious plot

I read it on the Internet… the facts say a lot!

chorus:

aliens and magic bullets masonic rites are the coolest

illuminati got me abducted my body john gotti

doesnt even know if jimmy hoffa died clearly

just another mystical conspiracy theory

Verse 2:

“Paul is dead,” that’s what the record said

So I played it backwards every time I went to bed

When I woke up Judas Priest were dancing naked on my dresser

More annoying than an hour of Fran Dresher

The Jersey Devil and the Jackalope,

The Yetti and the Unicorn couldn’t really cope

So they froze Walt Disney with the Free Masons’ Union

While Anton La Vey had a Satanic communion

With Pope John Paul and Pee Wee Herman

While General Sherman helped the Germans

Invade Poland with Dividians enlisted

I determined these facts though they were once restricted

I guess you’re wondering how I figured out

What all these conspiracies are really all about?

On TV Ice T once denigrated cops

Now he plays a cop on TV… when will it stop??