“Lying on My Back on Boatster”
8-27-09

Lying on my back on Boatster
staring into the eyes of God and the universe
the last Astro-Cruise of week 11
the summer coming to a close
a summer I knew so well from my college years here

The hormones, the hook-ups,
the infatuation, the promise,
cleaning dishes, scrubbing floors,
making love in the shower,
in trucks, in boats, in bunks,
smoking pot on the beach for the first time as a kid

I blazed
“It gets me closer to God”
I told myself

I came back to help
chemistry confused
so familiar to be back
with these Stanford undergrads

And today
hiking to Angora with 27 third graders
we passed a boy with a deformed face
riding in a truck
as the Menehunes and I stood and sat out of the way
patiently

“He’s wearing a mask” a kid said

I tried not to look

He went out in a boat in Angora
with family
expressionless like Quasimoto
beautiful and peaceful
and we tried not to judge
How was his face deformed? Why? Would he be okay?

How can my life be anything but amazing
knowing that a kid with a sad sideways face
is taking boats out in Angora with his family?

All is well
and the third graders knew it.

I wanted to shout
and hug the kids
and indulge them for their beauty
and questions
and good nature
for not staring

“He’s wearing a mask” a kid said
they know he’s beautiful inside

And as I sat on my back on Boaster that night
hearing the Greek stories
and Native American folklore
about Plato’s distinction between love and infatuation
when a lover rescued his ladyfriend from Hades
but wouldn’t return to fight the demons

It all resonates with me,
Venus close in orbit.

I left a girl who was so submerged in her own hell
not even the Big or Little Dipper could get her back
were it filled with rope, cranes, and helicopters

And as the boat coasted into the boat dock
I smiled, completely at peace
the stars stationary and in 3D

Knowing that as my life changes
and opportunities come and go
and doors open and close
every day I’m fine
I’m connected
healthy
and everything is in balance.

Because the constellations will always be strong in the Fallen Leaf sky
as they were through the centuries
God holding his hand out
inspired and part of it
in this insane journey
and this place I can’t seem to stop returning too.